intro

New Blog!


still moving the last remnants out, but i'm sleeping/eating/commuting from the new one.


bye summer.

whispering

yup, it's me, cj on the speakerphone.

my boss is whispering to his girlfriend. awkward.


oh hi carrie underwood. has it gotten old to name drop yet? no, not really.

got to the chiropractor. got some x-rays done, didn't see anything. we'll do a few sessions of rehab, and then if it doesn't respond, we'll do the MRI. and my right leg was longer than my left, so he popped it back in.

i just realized that today is the last entry on this blog. we sign today, so i'll make a different one for the new house. i'll link from to there from here. so there will be one more, but nothing of sustenance.

it's U time

who wants to get lifted? your momma does! chyeah!

spent a lot of time in the studio the past 2 days. about 34 hours in a 48 hour period. but luckily i get paid for all but 7 of them. it's been some good times. the hill brothers were the 7 hours that i didn't get paid for. but that's okay cause they super cool.

i am really tired, and not been able to catch up on sleep. twas killer this morning. i almost fell asleep at work, but i brought my piano music, so i got really frustrated at it, which kept me from falling asleep.

my schedule it the weirdest schedule i've ever had in college. mon-thur, class at 6:30 to 7, or 9, depending on if it is mon/wed or tue/thur. i'm going to try to change it so that i can get some staff hours on campus. also, i was offered to teach the labs at RCA B if i had the time slots open, but i have super gay piano ensemble and seminar at 3 on mon, 2 on wed. I HATE PIANO!!! also, on tue/thur, i have a 9:30am class. no class on Friday. which is cool. and i have class at 10:30 to 3 on saturday at oceanway, so i will be able to use those studios, which will be nice cause C is almost always open.

my knee is getting worse. i need to get to a doctor pretty soon. it buckles on me when i'm walking and i can barely straighten it out. running is probably the farthest thing from my mind. yah...

i read this thing about lyme disease, and it kinda freaked me out. i got a tick bite (the head stayed in) a couple of months ago, just as school got out, and i'm wondering if i got infected.

i work at oceanway tomorrow.

we sign the lease on friday. carrie underwood at RCA B.

i go do the ministry to the poor on saturday. move.

sunday, hopefully get to church and move.

monday???


top 5 prayers:

i pray that my life encourages conversation

i pray for my wife

i pray for my neighbour

i pray for wisdom

i pray no glory for me

peeling

big decision. do i want to keep my bike as close to the original, keep the characteristics that were designed by those who probably have retired or passed on. do i want to put in the effort to look for the parts, get them, install them and troubleshoot them when they don't work? or do i want to revamp the bike. do i want to try to overhaul the components so that it will be fast, sleek, and up to date?

the other day i got a check to do this 'secret shopper' thing. i found it it's a scam. the answering machine is 'full'. google can't find it. the addresses are PO Boxes. and there is a large amount of money that has to be wired. um, no.

piano starts soon. super not excited. super super.

hope you have enjoyed my night of not a lot happening.

oh, and i'll probably meet carrie underwood. should i ask her out?

Okoboji

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.


My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.


He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.


The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
And miles to go before I sleep.

Tomorrow

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;

And frogs in the pools singing at night,
And wild plum trees in tremulous white;

Robins will wear their feathery fire,
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.

Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree,
If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn
Would scarcely know that we were gone.

   -- Sara Teasdale

Video

still ready?

i finished my ironing. it took about 2 hours. but i am better at it than i was before. and now i look super fly-.

this weekend i had a recording session with a guy names Tico. it was set up through Mark Word. it was a rap session. they beats were all ready to go. they weren't mixed very well, but all i had to do was vocals. it was probably the easiest session i've ever done. it was vocal overdubs for 2 days straight. not bad. i did work myself to the point of exhaustion each day though. each day i came back with a throbbing headache, my body's way of telling me, a) i'm hungry b) i need to wear my glasses c) i'm thirsty, or d) i'm exhausted. or e) something isn't right in your environment.

um, things i have not encountered in the studio before.
Tico just got out of jail about a year ago on drug charges and still is on probation. he isn't supposed to leave North Carolina or Kentucky.
Tico has partied with T.I. and D4L

Mark Word owns a record label. He also carried heat into the studio and asked if there were metal detectors.

It was interesting to see how and old white lady reacted as we passed by on our way back from Subway. she grabbed her grand-daughters hand and only made eye contact with me. it really pissed Tico off. he just wanted to shout Boo! to scare the crap out the the old lady. it was hard to see it from both ways. i easily saw Tico's side, but at the same time i think he might have overreacted. i know that people grab their young offspring's hand when i walk by. it was one hell of a situation to be in. i think though, that i would side with Tico. we weren't aggressive or loud. just some young guys walking through campus. i need to remember this experience.

December 4th

I'm going to add to this post. I'll try to answer some questions, and my own questions will be replied too.

well, I'll do my fav 5 things. cause i haven't done that in a while.

today's topic: Childhood songs

Psalty the Singing Songbook

I am a 'C'

Jesus Loves Me

Father Abraham

The Bugs Bunny Theme Song

I didn't grow up with commercial music. I had church music. My moms played the piano and organ. Some of my earliest memories is me in the church, with my mom at the organ. We rarely listened to the radio. It was mostly oldies, cause my mom would censor the radio. My dad had some records. Jimmey Dean, Beach Boys, and a hits during the 70s. Those were the 3 records that i listened to. And the single, Little Willy.

But outside of that, it was mostly the Hymnal. and the good RCA (Reformed Church of America) Hymnal. Not the CRC Hymnal. or the Dutch Reformed. but i really didn't have a lot of outside influences in my impressionalbe childhood in the ways of commercial music.

I can remember we would have these 'bring in your favorite music to class' day in music in elementary school. i think it was either my 4th grade year or 3rd grade year, but The Sign by Ace of Base was brought in by about half of the class. I brought in some Amy Grant.

They year was 1999, and i was in 7th or 8th grade. My parents had just got our first computer. We were late adopters, including the internet. Anyway, my parents got me WOW 1999 for my birthday. The WOW series was like the popular NOW series, except it came before it. Take that secular music. It was my first CD. I had some cassettes of Newsboys, Audio Adrenaline, and Supertones, but this was my first CD. Then I got some money and bought the WOW 1998. Each subsequent year, i would buy that years CD. I have them all the way from 96 and 97 in tape form, then 98 to 02 in CD. In 02, or the year previous, I discovered Tobymac. I think the single that was on the WOW was the J Train song. So I bought that CD. After that CD, my collection exploded. I was buying CD almost every CD that I had heard good review of. I spent hours in the christian bookstore, listening to that sample station of different CDs. My mom would go shopping, and I would stand there and listen to my favorite song on several CD. Remember the W's? I almost had that CD.

In the summer of 03, my musical eyes were opened. First, my youth pastor convinced me to go this weekend retreat. I sent my application on that Monday, and it started that Friday. TEC. There is a whole chapter of my life. I think I've warmed up to it, but I used to quite bitter. Anyway, I was given 2 things. One was a chart of music and all the categories that they lined up in. It was a purple sheet of unknown gold. Really good ones were bolded. I copied that sheet to my own Word document, and then I added my own tastes.
The other gift that I was given was a KJ52 cd. Collaborations. I can honestly say that this was the day that I was introduced into my current taste of music. It had the strongest influence to date of my music library. From that pirated CD, I bought hundreds more in CDs, attended almost as many concerts.

If I had to point to something and say: 'That is what put me in Nashville", those two things would be it.

Music Industry, if there was one event that pulled me away from a science career, (probably ecology) it would be that weekend.

Belmont, that's why.

to an end

so i put a deposit on a house today. that means that this chapter is slowly closing. charlie, matt and i move in to our new house either sunday or monday.


so my apprehensions for this new house:

i'm a little worried that i won't be able to get out from under matt's aggressive deepness. yes, it's aggressive. i need time to myself, and i feel that there are going to be times that i explode. hopefully, i can do it in his face so it can be worked out. i have a lot of aprehension going into this. i'm not very excited about what's to come, to be honest. i think that i might be doing a lot of venting upon the upcoming blog. with pictures!

i got gnarls barkley's new album. it is delicious! right up there with his last album. i'll give it 4.3 stars. out of 5.

work was kinda a hard today. i messed up a bunch before lunch. i was quite tired from getting my siblings to the airport at 5 this morning. my boss wasn't too happy with my performance. i went to lunch, and when i got back, i was muched more focused. i still made a couple of errors, but it went a lot better. ummm, sleep.

as i have matured, i have found my likeness towards 'christian' music wanning. i find much of it to be quite cheesy. expecially the rock balads. and KJ52. i enjoy the bands that don't have that 'polished' sound to them. or are quite creative. and the pay in the christian music world isn't awesome like the secular world. and it should be. not because i'm in love with money, but because it shows that the talents you have are qualified to be in the position you are at, be that christian or secular. it isn't like the christian bands are selling their cd's or mp3s for less. in fact, it is usually more expensive to buy them cause the re-sell market isn't as broad. i also find that worship music is annoying. not only to listen to or sing, but to play. they are quite predictable. and there are always 4 key signitures in each song. there is no 'groove' or such. O, dc Talk, will you please come out to play with me today?

it's a party

don't stop now. it's almost over. you've done so well. it looks really good. way to go. that was a nice job. good effort. you nailed that one. keep going. almost there. keep pushing. yea! you've gone so far. that is quite impressive.

i think i'm in love again.

i want to work overtime for the rest of my life. it is really really nice!

school could go die. i would not attend that funeral.

Oye!

Uncle Sam

Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization

don't wanna be spoonfed your meal?

are you upset yet that my titles have nothing to do with the actual blog? deal with it.

"We are different, in essence, from other men. If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon."
-Emil Zatopek

"Marathoning is like cutting yourself unexpectedly. You dip into the pain so gradually that the damage is done before you are aware of it. Unfortunately, when the awareness comes, it is excruciating."
-John Farrington

"I haven't seen too many American distance men on the international scene willing to take risks. I saw some U.S. women in Barcelona willing to risk, more than men. The Kenyans risk. Steve Prefontaine risked. I risked - I went through the first half of the Tokyo race just a second off my best 5000 time."
-Billy Mills

"A race is a work of art that people can look at and be affected in as many ways as they're capable of understanding."
-Steve Prefontaine

for once

i'm going to bed. and i'm not waking up for a at least a good 12 hours or so. i'm exhausted.

my sis and bro come at the end of this week. i'll be busy, but they want to chill too. it should be fun.

life is

well, it's over. the week of not fun is over. it's over, and over, and over, and over. over.

my cousin and her friends came up this weekend. we hung out for the last few days, and it was a good time. i haven't hung out with her much, and it was good to spend some time with family. we went downtown and had to sneak into a bar cause one of the girls wasn't 21 yet. a month away doesn't get you in. then last night, i had a recording session, and they came in and watched and Amber sang on one of the songs. she'll get album credits. tonight, we went to sonic, and just chilled and spent time out. i really enjoyed it.

paychecks are in the work. good, cause putting down a security deposit is expensive. payed my last check here in this house. wow. that's an odd thing to say. this summer has been an experience. it is kind of odd to think of. it's almost over. that means this blog is coming to a close. i'll have to start another one, or should i keep this same one? readers, let me know.

it's been a summer of growth for me. i've learned what things take importance in my life, and what things i can let slide and what some more of my goals are. i've learned that i like a clean kitchen, and will do something about it. i've learned how irritating it is when someone wants the kitchen clean, but doesn't do anything about it. i've learned i'm not a very neat person. my clothes aren't pressed. or put away much. heck, it takes some effort for them to find the clothes basket. i've learned i like simple foods. i find pleasure in pure tastes. grapes, not grape juice. beef, with salt, cooked on a grill. not hamburger helper. but i like spagetti. and rice. and fish. the biggest thing is paying bills. and keeping it all straight and in order. being able to pay it each month out of my pocket. putting in the hours to pay them. understanding the value of the system. not that i enjoy the system, but it has value.

the group of friends will/is slimming down. there are less people that i seem to stay in touch with, and hang with. not that i find myself intentionally doing that, but that because it isn't easy or convienent, that some friendships won't last. it happens.

well, tomorrow looks like 12 to 14 hours of oceanway.

Al Green - Lay it Down
the you tube version's kick drum has a lot of attack. on big speakers at better resolution, it is a lot smoother. and the background instumentation is a lot fuller.

s'mores

eat it.

seriously.


the this has almost been something close to a year or so, but i was at a friends house for a community outreach night with a church. anyway, after the kids from the neighborhood had left, we continued to pray for each other. a guy walked up to me, never met him before. he was a friend of a friend. anyway, he had a prophetic word for me. he said that he saw me developing a new type of music. something that had not been done before. and he said that i would be on PBS for my work on it.

now if you know anything about me, i am heavily involved in the music world. major is audio engineering, minor in piano. friends either perform, engineer, or business world with a few exceptions. if any of this were to come to fruition, it would be possibly the greatest thing. better than anything i've experienced up to this time. i'll let you know how it compares to my wedding day.

why do i bring this up? well, i've put a lot of thought into this. like how? what? where? when? even why?
i find that my musical tastes aren't typical for people heres at Belmont. I'm not a fan of the white, college, indie band sound. please, leave me alone. i'm not a country fan. this has changed from the past, cause i have an appreciation for the music. i'll even respect what goes into it, but it's not a like.
i find i like music with a understanding of difficulty. pain. is it something that i understand. no. at least not in the material. and maybe that's why i don't like the previously stated. i have found that the music that rises from hardship is a commitment that has been refined. these musicians have been sharpened by others. they have had to take it to the table, confront, and succeed. success can not come without competition. that's why i enjoy those that have had to come so far. they have had to rise through more 'levels'. their knife of sound is honed.

on a scale

this morning, i fixed my car. well, last night, i got home and i had my window down on my car. so i rolled it up like any normal thing. gets to the top and crunch. not good. so i decided oops, and rolled it down. crunch crunch like the cookie monster. mmmm, yah, no. and now it doesn't roll up. so it's 11:30, and i have a window that won't roll up and it's on the street. i decide to park it in the belmont parking lot behind the art center. i had a tarp in my car, and put that over the window. it looked like the ghetto.

so this morning i researched some some car mechanics. latondress auto world got the best reviews. but then i had a thought. what if i can make this work, cause taking it to the garage is automatically going to cost $50 or so. cause i didn't want to pay hundreds to get a new window. i was hoping for a way to get it up and not cause any more damage. so i did a little research, not much help. there are screws and plastic connectors. unscrew the screws and pull on the plastic things. not like, oh, they are here, here, and here.

well, after about 2 hours or so, i got it done. my window is up. it's no broken, it some plastic thing on the rail. the motor is good. i disconnected the motor so it can't accidentally be activated and break more. the only thing that sucks is that i can't go through drive-through.

joke:
on a scale of 1-10, how old is michael jackson's boyfriend?

can you tango?

activities that i wish i did more often

go mountain climbing
go canoeing
go running
go fishing
go rock climbing
go dancing
go biking
go to music festivals
go to art shows
go to the park
pushups
build things with
-wood
-metal
start fires
cut down trees
enjoy the moment
push myself
challenge authority
learn
connect with old friends

thanks dave

so this afternoon, i decided to go for a little bike ride. i didn't want to do any chores, so i jumped on the bikerophone and left. i kinda wanted to make this a long bike ride. my first objective was to Radnor Lake. well, i missed the turn. so then i thought, hey it's about 12 miles to church, which is about an hour of riding. so i kept going to church, but i missed that turn too. so i kept going into Franklin. I rode all the way through Franklin, got to Downs Blvd. Figured, eh that's far enough. Turned around and started my trip back. So i get to the 431 intersection and i'm waiting for the light to change. It turns, and i start to peddle. I realize something is rubbing my frame, and my heart sinks. I've pulled an Andrew Hill. There is a staple in my back tire. So i pull off the road and get my phone out and am ready to call andrew hills when this truck pulls up and asks if i want a ride. so i throw my bike in the back and say hi to Dave.

Dave has a wife, son, twin girls, and a twin brother. His wife is in reality, he is in home contractor sales. He sells the crown molding to contractors that they put in spec houses and such. He was in management, but the money is better in sales. His son is 21 and trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life. He was at a tech school, but he partied a little too much and now is trying to get his GPA up while living at home. One of his daughters is a freshman at Lipscomb and his other daughter is playing Division I tennis at UT? (I don't remember the school) She picked up tennis as a freshman in high school instead of continuing with softball. Dave plays, but it was his wife that got her into tennis. She is the only American on the team, with other 3 other girls from South Africa, Capetown. Another one is from Brazil, Australia, and other countries that I don't remember. She visited her 3 teammates in South Africa for 2 weeks. His wife and daughters are on vacation in Florida, close to Panama City. Dave and his son will join them next week cause Dave needs to stay connected with his job and his son is working and taking classes in the summer.


Well, now what can i take away from all of this? one thing that i can think of is to help those who are stranded on the side of the road. The other is i need to carry a repair kit with me when i go biking.
But i think that this was a welcome interaction, even probably a Godsend. See, i have been losing faith in humanity. Mostly in political situations, like the office, or the church, or actually government institutions. I had a growing dissatisfaction with America. I witnessed too many territorial wars and self-centered preservation situations. I just want to say thank to Dave, who in his selfless act, has altered paths.

ode to the cocanoe

yesterday, i went canoeing. we went out with some friends from church, and it was a good time for everyone. it was only 5 miles, which was a short little jaunt, but we didn't get in the river till 11 or so. the river was quite low and slow. there was a rope to jump off of a tree, and i tried, but i didn't do very good cause i was too tall. my feet kept hitting the river before i let go, so i faceplanted 3 out of 3 times. impressive.

i also tipped 3 times, which was embarrassing. i wonder if it had something to do with the canoe we had. it sat kinda high out of the water and the keel was pretty deep. we went fast, but we weren't too stable. luckily, the water was warm and it felt good. it wasn't too hot either, so we weren't baking in the sun. even my ab got a little bit of a tan.

monday looks to be 101. good thing i work indoors, fixing neve consoles.

shallow days

music has a spirit. not like the type of 'oh yeah, i feel it' but an actual spirit to it. just like the spirit of joy or the spirit of depression, the same class of spirit is in music. there is music to get you up and chill you out. make you happy or make you angry. music to unite and seperate.

for me, i notice it with music that i find i connect with. i have to be committed to the message that they bring in order for me to take value in what they say. just like i don't find myself in tune with Islam and as such, i'm not in tune with Islamic spirits. so in the same way i don't find that country music talks to me. what music speaks to me, could it be that which is hip hop? yah.

artists that are uppers:
black eyed peas
Flynn
LA Symphony
Pigeon John
John Reuben
Jurassic 5
Cee-lo
Gnarls Barkley
Kanye West
Tobymac
Deepspace 5

chill outers/inspirational:
Blackalicious
Bus Driver
Outkast
The Roots
Kanye West
Grits
Tobymac
Mars Ill
Listener
Pigeon John
Deepspace5
4th Avenue Jones
Dert
Ohmega Watts

Angries:
eminem
Sage Francis
Brother Ali
Playdough
LMNO
Kanye West
Man of War
Gospel Gangstas
Joey the Jerk
Wu-Tang Clan
Fort Minor
Atmosphere
Future

i have realized that i will let songs that aren't so great slide by if they are in the first two categories. they mood that they put me in imparts a spirit of rose colored glasses. i do not let the speed bumps become musical road blocks.

the last category i have found that i am either 1-in a bad mood or 2-about to be short tempered. i think that results in a harsh and critical review of this music. this music must not only be on lyrical point firstmost, but must exhibit a beat that is razor sharp, and must weave together. if it is not polished, it gets thrown in the trash pile, or deleted for the library.

human beans

 spent.  it's been a long week.  i did 6 on sunday, 14 on monday, 13 on tuesday, 7 on wednesday, had the day off on thursday and did 8 today.  and i still have 10 hours left this week.  nasty.  

but it was a fun week too.  there was a professional recording session at RCA B with chuck ainley, who has done everything in nashville.  the musicians were:

Drums: Eddie Bayers

Bass: Glenn Worf and David Hungate

Guitars: Richard Bennett Steve Gibson

Piano & Organ: Pig Robbins, Gordon Moat

and Martina McBride will be in on Monday.  

and Sal, the maintenance tech at oceanway is back.  so we will actually be doing stuff technical, not cleaning.

i haven't gotten hours the last two weeks at oceanway, so i don't know what is up with that, but it'll work out.

tomorrow i'm going canoeing!!!  it's been a couple of years since i've been, so i hope i can remember my J stroke :)  i'm looking forward to it.

side note-good job tennessee, you're the 3rd fattest state in the union.  OnA

heating bills

"Churches won't work with you, though, just out of the goodness of their hearts...if push comes to shove, they won't really move unless you can show them how it'll help them pay their heating bill."

they are just another institution. they are the unions of today's people. they have agendas, and toe a political line. they are run by fallible people with questionable backgrounds and even shadier secrets.

"communities aren't defined by geography"

maybe by social status, work affiliation, skin color, hobbies, political interests, haters, sports teams, literature. all of these transcend physical restraints.

i am dissatisfied with people.

big ups to

so this evening, it hit me. i don't want to be a college student anymore. i want to be out in the workforce. it's not that i don't enjoy college, it just isn't something i have a desire for. i want to support myself, unlike 80% of my friends.

for the next year, i hope to put more time into working than i do into studying. this will be my 17 year in school. i'm ready for something else.

and i hope to find new friends. this last year was a good year in those terms. i made over 200 new friends. which is a good amount for me. but i think that i will loose contact with 100 of them. be that they graduated, or we don't see each other in the dorms, or we stop running in the same circles.

i'm ready for some change, and i want it to be monumental.

Rational Christianity

one phrase i found interesting
"the acceptance of homosexual marriage is a result of postmodernism"


i was looking forward at reading this website. i was hoping for a rational look at Chrisitanity, but instead I found a one sided agenda, using Chrisitanity to hide behind.

race ya

so new things and old ideas

i am working with chuck ainley on a recording project at RCA B doing duets with elvis vocals. this will be a sunday monday and tuesday get together. who wants the money? it's me.
hey clark, did you work on the elvis record? oh, yes you did.


i still need to read more.

my knee is still in pain. it wants to stop hurting anytime now.

i'm off to read.

it's time for drastic measures, they're not taking you seriously

honestly, honesty with one's self is honestly sometimes the hardest thing to do.

thanks

so i just spent some good ole fashion hang out time with friends this weekend. it was a good time. i played some baseball, kickball, volleyball, cornhole, cards, mario kart. i lost in mario kart and one game of cornhole. next time. dun dun dun.


i'm ready for a country that doesn't spy on me.

roommates. interesting situations. i'm learning more and more.

so my religious stance on facebook is: I believe in Love

what do i understand that to be is something i've been wrestling with. well, for one it does not mean agreement. i have found that love is not agreeing on something, but instead means that it is something that each side is willing to either work through, or overcome. work through would be something like going to couples counciling, whereas to overcome is more about forgiveness.

i understand that this world is a world full of pain. i do not want to belittle it, and as such, i don't think that i can explain pain in words. pain comes from an elemental sin, lies. it is ugly, decrepet, and hard as a diamond. it cuts, and leaves scars. rivers of tears feed oceans. broken hearts need time and love to heal. we only wish pain on our enemies because it is the only way to leave feeling like we've won after defeat. pain is the cause of sadness. sadness can not cause pain, because it is a lesser emotion. we can look at pain as being a foundation upon which other emotions grow, such as hate, disbelief, envy, lust, pride.

but love is a light. it gives heat. it takes energy to burn. it is something to look upon, and people are drawn to the light. from light, guidance is given. it gives a point of reference. it radiates in all directions. put love on a hill, and it's influence will be felt to numerous men and women. it will be difficult to hide from.

i try not to let my words say more than i mean, and each word is thought through. some may look at this slight wording and brush past it, thats okay. it's not for you. go listen to your pastors with 3 points in a half hour, whose public speaking skills are more important than what they actually say. listen to your politicians who invent words to scare you into being their disciples. just go away. these ideas were the effort of thought not usually found in your hallways or at the dinner table. go away.

my coloring book

i'm gonna scribble inside the coloring book
until the picture becomes mine.
the red, blue and olive to make my masterpiece.
it won't be complete till i start
each morning, i'll look at and the sunrise
and your eyes
to draw a picture in your mind
3d in a 4d space
i need to draw it out
i take all the world wonders and put them
on the page
your wooden nickels and silver dollars
can stay inside your pocket
i'll give it out to you if you
promise to smile
it'll move and smile and flower
the pencil in between my hands
staying inside the lines
my coloring book has many pages

voltage does not equal current

got my bike today. it fits me. 1st bike i've ever had that can do that. i'm in love.


today's music:

bitter sweet symphony by the verve

anything

introvert: a person that does work while other people talk about it

I hate girls and girls hate me.

dualism: when your mind and your body are in disagreement

Here's what i've been wrestling with this last couple of days. So in spiritual circles, a lot of time is spent listening. But not just listening to anything. you don't listen to the noise around you. For example, what is on my errands list. it is internal and focused.

The more time that you spend in this community, you learn that you aren't supposed to listen to your mind. First time I heard this, i thought these people are a new kind of crazy. Don't they get that this is the organ of reason and logic, understand and comprehension, knowledge and common sense.

instead, they said that you are supposed to listen to your feelings. find out what that says, what your feelings say. you should listen and think and speak from the heart-feelings. use your heart-feelings to guide you to Jesus, cause that's where he lives. t

I rebelled. I said, you all can have your crazy 'i don't listen to my mind' and take it and shove it. it was one of the most ridiculous ideas i had heard of up to that time. and it really bothered me that it came from Christian circles. I thought, these people don't get it. They honestly have lost their minds and are following some hindu self-worship where they can think of up anything and it be 'divine'? (i have learned more about hindism (from Steven Colbert)).


but i found out that sometimes, this is sometimes true. i found that sometimes what was really true wasn't something that my concious self didn't want to accept. so now i take this idea into consideration, but with a good, generous dose of healthy skepticism.



so getting to the point of this story, i have been struggling with the idea of grace making us right(eous) before God. and i was telling a friend this, and the comment they (gender neutral) made to me was, 'hey man, you shouldn't listen to your feelings. cause they are from the devil cause he wants to trip you'. that's the abbreviated version

so now i am sent spinning. i was like, okay so let me get this straight.
1. don't listen to your mind, cause it will lie to you
2. listen to your 'feelings', cause that's where Jesus lives
3. don't listen to your feelings, cause they are from the devil.

this leaves me at-don't listen to your mind or feelings. okay, so what am i supposed to listen to? nature? the force that is behind these living things? so, hinduism. sure.

my conclusion: i think i need to go into some sort of exile. I need to leave these people that are 'guiding' me along some sort of path that they have found. i need to consult authority figures. not friends in the church-this includes some pastors. especially those without training. like recent ones. i have realized (not thought, felt) that recent ones are without much training and guidance themselves. they are just throw out some good phrases and try to line it up with the current theology. i'm talking about scholars. legit scholars. people who have spent entire lives, careers, and fortunes researching and experiencing truths.

possible avenues that i will explore

• apologetics - how it relates to other religions

• Biblical hermeneutics - intrepretation of the bible, with focus on current constraints of contemporary intrepretation

• Biblical Studies

• Biblical theology

• constructive theology - another name for systematic theology, with emphasis on post-modernism

• Natural theology

• Philosophical theology

• theological hermeneutics - study of the manner of the construction of theological formations

this weeks playlist =
authentic by LA symphony
Albany by Kev Brown
Chapter 1 by John Reuben
Let's Get Lifted by John Legend
Oh My God by Jars of Clay
Frail by Jars of Clay

XP

windows XP is no longer for sale. stupid microsoft. Vista=shoot yourself in the face.

new person

today's fascinating person is Henrietta Lacks.

when she died, a person doing the autopsy took a unauthorized sample of the cancer, and sent it to a lab to get it looked at. it never died. it continues to divide and grow to this day.

it contributed to the cure of polio.

the amount of HeLa cells, as they are known, outweighs her original mass many times over.
they have disrupted other studies because they got into the samples.


she lives forever.

in awe

google norman borlaug. be in awe. this man saved over a Billion people. A BILLION. do you get it? a billion.


more than 3x the population of USA.
1/6th of the world.
BILLION
you or i will never do something this awesome. ever. in 100 lifetimes.

word of the day is

the word of the day is right before you.


found a new artist that i really enjoy. Busdriver & Radioinactive.

Bus Driver And Radioinactive With Daedelus - Weather Locklear


Now I remember why I lived by myself. Oh the drama of living with other people. It is super hard not to snap at someone else, when they aren't related to you. cause then i do it out of love? i haven't gotten mad at andy yet. you can't get mad at andy.


so that's why i think that i like the studio. very few people to interact with. not completely isolated, but pretty close.

today's special treat is links to my friend's blogs. so maybe you will read them. too.

A Heart in Flight

Music Mamas

SWB-crew

Question of the Week

Not Like Crazy

SayRah

i went outside 2x

i feel like i need to climb some spiritual stairs.

honestly. that's about the most outside time i got today. just really didn't want to go outside. that and my knee still hurts. the knee cap bone and tibia still are sore. there is some serious bruising that went on there.


i did the dishes today and cleaned the bathroom. now it's my roommates responsibility for the month of july. (i did it twice in june)

i ordered about 20 or 30 free things in the mail today. like laundry detergent, golf balls, a pedometer, food. so i'm excited for those to be sent in the mail :)

i watched this show called 'hip hop vs. america' it was rap artists talking with pastors. it was interesting. made me think about the type of music that i listen to. and what effect it has on my outlook. there is some movements out there to get rid of hip hop because it glorifies satan or something. i think rock and roll had the same problem. i think that there is some meat in the idea of the different leaders getting together and talking.

i worked on my ab.

spain beat russian in the euro cup, 3-0. nice.

i feel dismembered not living in a dorm, cause i feel like i can't keep in touch with everyone.

i need to start eating more balanced meals. i eat a lot of cereal.

it grew by awesome

my music collection just got an increase in awesomeness. i increased the bit rates of my mp3s. they sound a lot better.


we had a meeting today for work. it was kinda interesting because i was kinda looked upon as a leader of the student workers, knowing everything that was organized and have progress reports. it was nice to get some recognition, although it was very little.

severe T-storm warning tonight.

we had the gas shut off today cause daniel wasn't organized and just slacked off on his part. so we are without hot water and a stove/oven for a day. nice one!

i am working some, and it is nice cause i'm able to pay bills.

i'll make the music if you make it look good.

i'll plug myself here too. do you want to record in a professional studio? i practically have unlimited amount of time in a Neve, API, and SSL studio. We can record to Protools, RADAR, or Tape. Respond if you would like to.


5 things I miss about home

my familia

not having to pay bills :)

the slower pace of it all

the cooler weather

my momma's food

without

without money, we'd all be rich

advanced degree in compromise

it has been said that college is an advanced degree in compromise.

humor

so the other night, me and my friend gerg and andy were talking about different comedians that we liked and such. so i'd thought i document some of the points i can remember.

one thing that i noticed was that i enjoy comedians that are clean. i find that the dirty ones just aren't as funny. i think that some of the humor is this "look where i just went with this joke" type of thing that doesn't always show true humor. there is more of a shock value to it. people don't normally talk about these types of things, be it sexist jokes, or racist jokes, or jokes that involve a lot of hate speech, so there is this laughter because people are uncomfortable with the topic. i notice that some of my friends are like that, they laugh when the situation gets uncomfortable. the defuse the situation with laughter instead of facing the problem or issue. i do it when i'm really in a bind. for example, insurmountable assignment due tomorrow at 8? spend 2 hours laughing about it. got a ticket for speeding? tell a joke. i try not to defuse the situation when others are involve. i try to respect what they are saying.

another form of humor that i don't find enjoyable is the embarrasing type of humor. one example that many people would know is The Office. Micheal Scott, the manager of employees, puts himself in some very odd and very uncomfortable situations. like when he talks to Stanley about being from the hood, or when he hits on Pam. things that if they happened in front of me, i would get out of there as quick as possible. i think the concept is emotional intelligence. being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes, and thinking through what they might be feeling. when they happen in movies, i find myself looking away, or if it is on TV, i usually change the channel.

so clark, what are some forms you do like? to answer that question, i'll point to comedians that i enjoy. not saying i enjoy all of their material, but i enjoy over 75% of it.

Bill Cosby
Jim Gaffigan
Dimetri Martin
Flight of the Conchords
Steve Corell

I don't like Jack Black. he doesn't do it for me.


Oh, i need to make my playlist. So i've listened to pandora radio a lot this past week, so i'll pick from there

California Soul- Marlina Shaw
Uncle Sam Goddamn - Brother Ali
4000 Miles - Blackalicious
Breathe - Anna Nalick
I'm Just Raw - Lyrics Born



As a side note, what is up with me leaving NW Iowa, and then they get all these bands that I'm into. Pigeon John, Brother Ali, 311, even Pandora.com is making stops in Des Moines.

I might end up in Omaha...

bike

i am in need of a road bike. 62 or 64cm from crank to seat post. under or around 150. it probably will be vintage. ebay, craigslist, show me your treasures.


5 favorite things to do with a bike
going fast
riding with friends
coasting
no gas
zig zaging through a traffic jam.


EDIT:
bought i bike this morning at 7am. ebay ID: 230262306880

outlet

I NEED TO RUN. my legs feel like springs tightly wound. i hate being injured.

Deleted

3 pieces of cheese

i want more. I want more teachers that inspire students to succeed. i want more days of sunshine and less days of rain. I want more masterpieces from artists, i want more people to appreciate each other. i want more time to get together and less time working away. i want more honest politicians, i want more scandals exposed. i want more coverage of wars being raged and less time spent on the latest celebrity tirade. i want more medicine and less starvation. i want to see people to celebrate this nation. i want more.

i want more. i want more listening and less speaking. i want more hand-holding and less divorce, i want less war and more discourse. i want more people with jobs and more people drug-free. i want more honesty and more truth. i want more me and i want more you.

i want less death and more life, i want more cause this might be the right time. i want more critics and more people to diss me. i want more haters to hate me and i want more choices. i want more strength, more love, and more power. i want less religion and more lifestyle choices, i want more people to move me to where the noise is. i want less sales gunpoweder and more showers. i want more hours in a day and i want more gas in the tank. i want more family and i want more truth. i want more.

No officer, i didn't

Tonight. Andrew and i rode our bikes down the Vandy and Belmont parking garages. i enjoyed all of them. they each presented their challenges. trying to find the right direction. making the inertia last as long as possible. staying away from the popo.

this might be worth $50

i got some advice from an acquaintance. he said to make a mixtape each week if you can't journal or blog. okay, so mixtape day is here. (i'll try to make this a weekly occurrence with no holds barred.)

Money Song by LA Symphony
Life Goes On by Pigeon John f. Abstract Rude
Running by The Pharcyde
Loves Not by Mars Ill
Who Cares by Gnarls Barkley

the comment was made last night that there is a sort of conversation here in nashville. a frothy lightness, in which someone who brings heavy ideas doesn't have a hard wall to get a rebound from. instead, what they encounter is a type of cool whip that just absorbs the statements because there isn't the toughness or the educational fiber to stand firm and have a counterstatment.

I haven't had a lot of those deep conversations. There isn't a lot of depth here in Nashville. I feel that all of my friends haven't had to wrestle with some of the deeper stuff of life. Sure, they think about ideas such as social justice or enviromentalism, but there isn't a internal struggle with those issues. Too much of their background influences their decision making. they just default to a previously said statement by their parents or preacher.

What do i mean by this? Well, for example, i have struggled with my stance on creation vs. evolution. and not just what does the Bible say, but how does science support creation. how does science support evolution. how does the Bible support evolution. how does the bible support creation. what are some of the common arguement around both of these camps, what are the falicies, what are their loopholes. how does each side deal with the other side. how does the other side adjust to the other side. and facts for all these questions.

well, the moon is out. the sun is leaving. i will leave you with my train song.

Heirhead

i am an introvert. i have decided this after much thought and observation. i enjoy being by myself more than i enjoy large groups of people. i f can be around large groups of people, but i find it draining i need alone time to recharge my batteries. i get uncomfortable being in front of crowds. i would much rather be behind the scenes doing jobs that only a few people recognize my contribution, if any. not to say that i don't like control. i find it worrisome when i do not know what is going on. for instance, every trip that i go on, i have the route planned out before i go. that includes running, going to the grocery store, or spring break.

i think that this is part of why i don't want to work in a corporate environment. i am not my own boss. sure, if i am self employed, the client is my boss, but i still can decide what i want to do and who i contract myself out to and other things to do.

i think that if i don't succeed at audio engineering, i will go into the field of ecology. i really like plants. i like to look at them. i think that the DNR job that i had was the nicest job, if you exclude the people i had to work with. People with no ambitions.

right now, i am lying on top of my roof of my house, looking at the sky, not watching my fingers typing, kinda like keyboarding class. so i apologize for the spelling mistakes that i don't catch when i proof read this. the sky is perfect. it is mostly cloudy, i wish that every day was mostly cloudy. i find that the best working environment to be in is outdoors. okay, i didn't think through the last sentence.

there are patches of sun breaking through the trees. and the trees are at least 30 feet above my head. i really really like it. the sun is setting in the west, and the birds are chirping, flying around my head along with the insects. the cars are far below on the street. they are limited to 2 dimensions. oh, for that 3rd dimension to remain unspoiled. i'm not a huge fan of flying cars. i think that there are other says to get to places faster. i don't have anything to prove up here on my rooftop. i have no standards to meet, i have nothing to hide behind. no one is imposing their fantasies on me. i don't have to blindly accept authority.

you can drink your elitist lattes. i will just drink my milk.

The best things in life

The best things in life aren't things.

Cliche, but so is your mom. Um, I just want to shout out to all my home-people who drew pictures tonight. I definitely won the most dedication trophy. You all rulez, especially the people i only know on the internet. Thank you. the others, i'll see face 2 face. It's a network of people that make eye-contact with each other.

5 favorite trees:

Weeping Willow

Magnolia

Shade

Flowering

Giant

Dirty Words

Okay children, today's word that you can never tell your parents is Muslim and Islam. Cause see, today we can say Negro, Native American, sometimes Mexican, but today's hate will be directed towards another group of people that looks different than us, eats different foods, speaks a different language. See, they are all the same, each one hates America, loves nothing but Allah and killing Jews and wear turbans that posses special powers. We must fear each man that wears a turban and bows toward the East 3 times a day.

They are different.

Everyone of them wants to see USA military men die in combat, don't believe in woman's rights. They enjoy it. They will torture men, not like USA. We have morals, ethics, committees, democracy, and SUVs. Only the Muslims have waged war in the name of religion, and practice ancient customs that seem barbaric in today's world. They want to take our oil, cause then it will hurt our economy. No, our incredibly smarter-than-the-rest-of-the-world scientists and economists only want to help the middle class American, they are always thinking about the blue collar workers during the political off season. The Muslims are the only one's that want to impose their religion on the world.

Remember that. Only Muslims are different.

i fell down

i fell down. and hurt my knee. it's bruised real good. it hurts me so! oh! i rode the power wheelchair today at costco cause it hurts me so bad.

i don't care

i don't care about the cost of friendship. the laws of life say that whatever you put into something, you are destined to get from it. that is a selfish point of view. but i don't care about the returns, for if i was only going to worry about what i got in return, i would be an investor in the stock market and such. i don't care about the cost of friendship because i can't put a price on a smile, hug, or photo.

i don't care how old you are. heck, i really don't care how old i am. people have different experiences through their life, and i find that those instances shape them more than their age. someone who hasn't spent life in different enviroments are those who haven't matured. they have a bubble mindset and their focus is on themselves. i would rather live with someone who is 25 and traveled the world than a 40 year old who has lived in isolation, and visa versa. but i think that you can travel the world in isolation.

i don't care what your income is. i will still be your friend. i have friends from both sides of the tracks, and i will say that living on one side won't cause you to act some certain way. it has more to do with your parents and genes. so, you can have my friendship if you want it.

i don't care what time it is. i hate wearing a watch. i like to camp for that very reason. you move with the sun and your stomach. each thing pulls you and the 4th dimension can just suck it.

5 quirky things that i do notice
-how you walk. do your feet point in the direction you are walking. do your feet drag on the ground. do you walk on your toes. how clean are your shoes.

-do you interrupt. extremely frustrating. irritating. annoying.

-your sense of humor. is it rude, dry, non-existent, does it leave a bad taste in your mouth, is it funny. can you laugh at yourself. what do you laugh at.

-sentence structure. subject verb agreement, prepositional phrases, modifiers, slang, and like, whatever

-how you argue with someone. passive aggressive. in your face. don't bring up conflict, or shy away from it. bratty, guerrilla warfare.

jobs and steve

jobs. steve. only of those words relate to this post.

jobs.

so i didn't get the job at oceanway, which is fine.

the problem right now is that i have too many hours. i picked up 40 hours at the studios. and i have about 20-30 hours at MPAC. i don't know what i'm going to do. i think i have to quit MPAC. sorry MPAC, but you ain't my thing.



Clark Johnson

Pet Peeve

Hello, Mr. Sexy's Pizza. Today's special is sexaroini. Oh, you would like some? Oh... Sorry, we are closed.


I have come to the realization that I despise self deprecating humor. I do not find it funny, especially when people reference their abilities. First of all, if I am your friend, I don't really care if you don't know the capital of Norway (Oslo). So making fun of yourself because you don't know it is pointless. Some people say that it shows humility. NO. It shows that you don't have faith in yourself and that you lack confidence in your abilities.

I also find that when a guy puts himself down, particularly in front of a girl that he likes, sends the wrong message. The guy is supposed to be strong, masculine, courageous, empowering, inspiring. When he feels the need to say shit about how he can't cook or he can't throw a football, or make a campfire, and continually does that when he can't overcome an obstacle, it undermines his role in that relationship. He throws away his leadership role. He becomes dependent on the girl to inspire him to be better and for him to try his hardest. Which is messed up. If he needs external motivation for something that should come from his spirit, what does that say about his character? What does that say about his will? It puts both of those on sand, that they do not have a firm foundation and we fail when the time comes that he won't be able to rely on others.

Sorry, this isn't going to have much of a conclusion.

5 other pet peeves:

1. My name is not 'kid', 'buddy', or 'man'. I hate them in that order.

2. The over use of amplified adjectives and adverbs. Eg: awesome, great, really, really, very, very. For example, the word awesome. Does it really inspire awe that I got a raise? Or made cookies? (Which i did tonight.)

3. O. 'n A. Obesity in America. The way the human body was designed, it is kinda hard to get to the point of obesity. But wait, people are here to help. Our over processed food will be cheaper than whole food, and we will eliminate P.E. from our schools so that we can meet No Child Left Behind. We will instill a lifestyle of pampered dogs and the right not to have to interact with another person. We will call this America.

4. Living in a bubble. To the college student who can tell me who is going out with whom, and what song is No. 1 on the charts, but can't locate Iraq. To the voter who chooses their representative without researching the facts. To the Christian the votes Republican because Pat Robertson said so.

5. To the person with the limelight/microphone giving advice on shit they know nothing about. Actors, musicians, politicians, even scientists talking about things that are not related to anything they have experience in. Politicians talking about science, music, or movies. Actors talking about politics or science. Basically, A talking about not A.

Barack Obama

so the other day, i got an email from my aunt Deb, and it was about "A Black Columnist on Obama".

First thing that got was, why they hell do i care if the guy is black or white or Native American? Why does the color of his skin give him any more power to criticize Obama? That was just the title.

The first point that it brings up is Obama's plan for foreign policy. It points to his ideas about meeting with 'The Axis of Evil' (simmering rage about that phrase). He wants to meet with them, and he doesn't want to bring nuclear weapons to the table to talk about. This has never been done since nuclear weapons were invented. Okay, but look how great our foreign policy is right now. Maybe talking with our enemies might not be such a great thing, but war is worse. We might even boost our relationships with other countries because they see our effort to become less of the jock-bully and we could use our strength to make the world a better place.

The next thing he looks at is his economic policy. Obama wants to raise taxes to fund different programs such as SS and free college and such. Okay, I understand that raising taxes isn't as fun as skinny dipping, but lets look at where we are right now. So gas prices are at a high, food prices are at a high. But why? Look deeper. It's not the gas companies who should be shouldering 100% of the blame. It is our weak dollar. It is shitty. 1.5 dollars for every 1 euro. It used to be .75 dollars for every 1 euro. Notice something? The dollar is horrible. It is the cancer cell of the economy, that and the sub-prime lending, which those are interlinked. But so we eliminate some of our foreign debt, say trillions of dollars. We educate some of our young people. Maybe give incentives for going into the hard sciences :) We increase the value of our work. We make the banks suffer for their sub-prime lending, which will hurt the economy because banks will not be able to offer such nice intrest rates on their loans, but I believe we will recover.

Then they address his social issues. Okay, this is where i get hung up some of the time with the democrats. I'm against humans taking human life, at all stages in life. Not 100% on the homosexual issues yet, but I think that I welcome the discussions. My thought on that is if it is such a big deal for them to get married, then maybe we should eliminate the legal incentives to get married. Level out the playing field a little bit.

The one thing that I'll straight out say is fucked up is their allusion to the anti-Christ. First of all, the anti-Christ doesn't show up in Revalations. Ever! It is in 1 John and 2 John. The beast shows up in Revelations, but they are straight talking about the devil. Not a plot device for the end times, but the actual fallen angel.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=svogqpLuXyI&feature=related

elephant

i've had some good blog ideas these last couple of days, but i can never remember to write them down and blog about it later.

i like this game.

http://www.shockwave.com/gamelanding/rclaserwarrior.jsp

The mind of a

of a what? who really knows. I have so many labels, but do they envelope my identity? I think not.

sorry for the lack of updating. I've been dating. Just kidding mom, dad, other people. the interwebs have been off. I pirate wireless from out neighbors, and they decided to put a password on the wireless i think. But i like to think that i hacked it. BA all the way.

so last night i went for a run cause i got off work early at 8! whoo hoo. but then i watched star trek till 10:30. it was the one that they meet the inventor of the warp drive. i liked it.

so after that i went for a run. but i couldn't. i wasn't ready mentally. i ususally don't know where i'm going when i start off and i make a mental goal to push myself to get there. that's how i usually run. anyway, it started off with i'll do 5 miles. then 4. then 3. it ended up being a little less than 1.5 miles. then i walked for the next hour or so. seeing different areas of the neighborhood that i hadn't seen before.

but the thing that kept me from running was my mental state. i was in a cloud. i couldn't think straight. i had trouble focusing and thinking through one thought. i tried to relax and just run and maybe it would work itself out. but it didn't. it troubled me. i was nowhere thinking about nothing and i didn't have much of a choice. bummer.

5 favorite technological changes I'm looking forward to:

Change in fuel sources for america

Manned missions to Mars

Medical treatment for genetic diseases on a genetic level

Increased adoption of broadband internet access in the USA

Flying cars

was there sun?

i pulled a long workday today. and it still isn't over, but i think i should do this before midnight today. clark, what did you do today? well intrigued reader, let me tell you.

spiked the stage - 20min
wrapped cables - 20 min

lunch and supper 90min

the rest of the day i sat on my computer and pulled 1 prank. i put a disco ball down from the catwalks during one of the songs.

other than that, i got paid for 14 hours to sit on my butt.

this would get old real fast as a career.

fav

favorite recipe:

a strawberry
dip it in melted chocolate

AA meeting

so i went to an AA meeting today. well, technically i didn't. i went to a meeting for people who treat addictions, but it was all about AA. and other things. one of them was interesting. the other one i feel asleep during and the other one was a crazy lady that was all about how to treat women with disorders, and she told all these girl jokes, and she wasn't funny, and i heard most of them before.

but the guy that i found interesting talked about a couple of things. it was basically how your spiritual health effects your recovery.

one of the points that hit me was there are people who have fear, and that is about the future. there are people with guilt, and that is about the past. but we live in the present, and to overcome those, you must be able to bring those problems to the present and figure out how to deal with them now. what someone can do now to overcome them.

he also related non-linear physics with spirituality, how physicists had to look to philosophy to explain what they observed. i was impressed.

another point he made will be better explained as an example. let's say you are up for a job promotion. you don't make it. there are two options. one, you can believe that the reason you didn't get that job was based on outside factors. this leaves your emotions to the whim of 'fate' you are not in control of your good days or bad days. the other option is to say 'i tried my best'. in this way, you are happy with the effort put forth, and your emotional state is determined internally.


(this is Saturn, the sun is behind it.)

also, isn't it good how big God is? he is HUGE. okay, bye now.

lolz

today, i laughed almost all day. it was a good day. i went to my not PK greg's house for graduation dinner. it was a lot of fun. kenley and i went there together. kristian was there and ben kann showed up and dool came later. i laughed so much. it was good times.

then i went out to supper at panera's with devon and mark noel. we shared stories of life in the dorms. devon is an excellent story teller, it was hillarious.

i haven't laughed that much in such a long time, it felt so very good. today was a great day.

my heart goes out to those in the military, past and present and forever. may God bring peace to those whose families have been effected by the war.

4 years and running

so tonight on my run, i got sick. well, within the 1st quarter mile i got sick. nothing felt good. my calves were tight, i was running slowly, my gut felt really full, i was bouncing a lot. it just was nasty. but i had decided that i was going to run 5 miles tonight. it was the longest, hardest 5 miles i've run in a while.

within the 1st mile, i started to feel nauseous. all that food that was sitting in my stomach was coming back for round two. i was not excited. i didn't want to throw up, it's just one of those things i don't do. i know i haven't thrown up in college, and i can't remember doing it in high school, but i'm sure i did. anyway, i just don't like to do it.

got to my halfway point, and didn't even stop, just turned around and kept running. probably a bad idea, but i did it anyway. well, i got into the last mile and i just couldn't run without a lot of physical pain. if was running at a varsity level, i wouldn't have stopped, but i wasn't. i'm running to get in shape and to kick your ass in the next 5K i enter.

so i decided to walk for 1 block. give me a break, k? k. so for this one block that i walked, which was uphill (i ain't no dummy), i honestly feel asleep walking up this hill. i closed my eyes and stayed close to the curb and let my mind go cause i didn't want to run anymore.

but after that hill, i started again and i felt really good about it. my movements were really smooth and my legs floated a little bit. plus i love running by PM at around midnight putting down about a 7 minute mile pace. that's right fatties, eat your grease buckets and drink those mixers, i'm looking better than you and you know it.

Dominated the pavement.

grow up

it's time for another music entry. get your bubble pipe, i'm about to tell a neat little story.

john reuben. zappin.

enter wikipedia info

i bought my first john reuben cd from wal-mart. it was after TEC 36. i got a the album "Collaborations" by KJ-52. I liked that song, and he seemed 'normal' enough from the sound of that song and it was the only other artist that i could find at my wal-mart. so i picked it up. put it my cd player of my 97 Pontiac Grand Prix. Plum. It starts out with the intro, which is clown music. Clown music, clown music, clown music. (Just saw a large bug on my pillow, i'm okay now). it's a rap cd and it starts out with clown music. 50 seconds of it. i kinda lost it. i can still remember it clearly. there were several thoughts that ran through my head.

• can i return it?
• what the funk?
• are you kidding?
• is this the right cd?
• did it get mis-packaged?
• is this some kid rapper?
• what's on the other tracks?

okay, the rest of the cd was a calmed my nerves, but man, the first 50 seconds was a doozy! there is even a song about the soundman on this cd. deal with it.

my next cd of his was "are we there yet?" then after that i got them in the order they were released. so for the last 7 years i've john reubened. i've seen him at Sonshine music festival in Wilmar MN several years. the first time i saw him, it was with Jason, Sas, Amanda, Liz, and Susan. It was on stage 2. (I don't think he's ever played any other stage). So he comes out, all 6'2" of Ohio white-ness, and he has the best look on his face. It's that look, the kind that says:

• okay, lets play a game.
  
• i know something you don't know,
  
• it's time to make people smile

so he throws up his hand in the air, and puts it down. over and over, faster and faster, with more and more pelvis put into it cause it takes a lot of energy to move an arm that far, that fast. i know. i've tried.
his DJ, dj manual and b-boy, alon auguste, and john rock the show. it's fun, energetic, always moving, full of life, erratic arm movements and 3 important life lessons. what are these lessons? well, you should go to a john reuben show, but i don't think he shares them any more. so i'll share them with you, but only because you've been so good to me. okay, these really aren't life lessons. they are more things to do to rock a crowd. especially at a music festival.

1. scream into the mic "(insert name of venue) is the best ever" or something like that. maybe, nobody rocks like ______. or let me here some noise ______. etc...
2. play early 90's music. vanilla ice. mc hammer. Ace of Base. that stuff will make people loose their brains.
3. give away free stuff. but drag it out as long as possible. play with the crowd. work them into a frenzy.
   

WARNING: do not do all three at the same time. people's heads will explode.
bonus life lesson: eye candy. lot's of lights, confetti, rotating drum solo in the air, break dancers, large beach ball in the crowd, things of this sort.





bUt, i was going to talk about how i've grown up with the john reuben. so his first couple of cd's are mostly light and fluffly. 'Do Not' 'Doin' are all examples of that. these songs make you feel good and happy, but there isn't much to talk about. they could be songs that you play at your teen youth group music video night because they would be entertaining, and people would laugh. And during high school, it fit my interests in music. i wasn't ready for something with a deep message. i just wanted to have fun and put jesus at the end of it. just to cover my night of rough housing, feeling good that i hung out with people and that we said jesus name and read the bible and everybody could say jesus at the right time. that's all i was looking for. there were other people that were looking for something more, Amanda and Scott, and they put in front of my face, but i wasn't ready for something like that.

john came out with 'professional rapper' in 2003, but i didn't pick it up till i got into college. it is a little bit darker. more of a band feel, he lost his b-boy, but kept the dj. he also had his bass player with him the next time i saw him. i wasn't a fan of that cd. it was different, it wasn't hip hop like i knew john to be. he was changing, and he was still growing into it. i wasn't ready for it, but then again, i don't think i was ready for college either. well, more along the lines of i wasn't ready for my classes. in high school, you learn objective subjects, chemistry, biology, history, english, physical education. well, for the most part. i learned facts, and there wasn't much why, or how behind it. not so in college. i've noticed that it isn't just me either. it has been some of m friends and how they've struggled with this. shout out to my matty c! i would say that i lost my faith. it wasn't like a 'i hate christianity' but it was more of 'how can this be real?' type of questions that i had. questions on the inspiration of the bible, it's canonization, the infallibility of it. all sort of questions that weren't talked about in sunday school or at home. things that i really struggled with. and this was just my first semester at college. i really didn't have many friends that i could confide in, so i internalized it, so it ran away. it was a darker time.

2005 and 2007 were 'The boy and the cynic' and 'word of mouth' a lot of these songs are social commentary and dissatisfaction with the current status quo. and around this time, i was introduced into social justice, the poverty conditions that many in the world live in, and the crimes of our culture. i've become passionate about some of these issues, but i can't be passionate about all of them. there isn't enough time. i try to figure out what ones are the most important, which ones hit me the hardest and the ones i figure i can understand and relate to. so that puts me into issues of poverty, environmentalism, and evangelism. i am informing myself about these issues, where it is at, what is possible, what isn't possible, what other people are doing, and how can i help.

Network:

Youtube:

http://youtube.com/user/j0hns0ncw

not very active in this one, but there is a little bit there. kthxby

i like the rain

i like the rain. i like the way it it's the pavement and explodes. as it falls to the ground, it cleans the air of the smog, pollen, cat dander, and idiots. . the way rainbows appear from nowhere, and then disappear cause the trolls didn't pay their dues. the way it smacks my windshield cause i'm going about 70 by the elementary school.

i'm encouraged by the way it makes my pansy's grow. and the grass. trees. bushes. fishes. and roses. plus ice.


one thing i don't like, getting hit by it. rain is at a terminal velocity when it smacks me in the forehead. i think that is the worst part to be hit by rain, the head. it's disorienting and my hair gets wet. if i didn't have to get hit in the head by rain, i would like it. and i do own an umbrella.

5 favorite memories of nature

1. Boundary Waters
2. one day, it snowed huge snowflakes. about 5 or 6 inches in diameter
3. sunrise
   
4. spring
5. my grandpa's farm
   

Male

so i got a card in the mail today. like the real mail. you know, with the person that carries it to your door and you pay 42 cents. right, that kind.

It was really nice! The 4th grade and 5th grade put together a card. They wrote 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Give thanks in all circumstances" and signed all their names to it. Plus, I got it in the mail! Deal with it.

I like those cards in the mail. They make me smile.

oceanwhat?

OceanWay Nashville. that's what. i have an interview/make sure i know what i'm doing. happens may 31st. at 11. to 11:30.


FREAKING WORKING AT OCEANWAY?! WHAT!? AWESOMENESS^2


got to make sure that i can fit all my work in. not such a bad deal.

took a walk

tonight, andrew and daniel and i went for walk. we didn't have much to do tonight, so we decided to go out and wonder around. we walked down a lot of back alleys and unpaved paths.

first thing that i noticed was the lighting. late at night, it was hard to tell where we were. and it was hard to tell where the other streets were or what was ahead. we depended upon the street lights to give us the information we needed to make decisions. without them, we were lost. some lights were more helpful than others. some illuminated street signs. others showed us intersections. some just helped us stay on the path. some where different colors. each had it's own important job to do. although there were several that were out, we were able to use the light from the other ones to guide us, to make up for the burned out lightbulb.

we started out talking a lot about nothing, just things that we have done, places we've been. soon though, we ran out of things to talk about. i was able to take in the way the breeze kept us comfortable. it kept the bugs off us, and it stirred the trees up and released the heat that could have been oppressive. i noticed the honeysuckle and lilacs, the yard clippings, the lumber from a construction site, the garbage, the recently cut tree branches. the wind spread those scents over our paths as we walked along.

we took a break at a friends house, and we saw his place for a little while. when we started, my sandal had begun to rub upon my foot, irritating the top of my foot where the strap crossed over right where my ankle and foot met. i was concerned, i didn't know if i was going to have to walk back barefoot so that i wouldn't injure my foot. but everything adjusted, and it no more gave me problems.

we felt connected to our neighborhood, we saw the backyards of houses, their garbage, the lights into the kitchens, the tv shows they watched. we felt the pulse of the community. we owned the streets. it felt good.

I collect them all

Today, we will rant. Ready? Did you bring your shoestrings and earplugs? 1.2.3.4. here we go?

So I have a bone to pick. With America. What the fuck do you do when a storm, earthquake, or hurricane strikes your country?

Answer: nothing, nothing, FREAK OUT!

Death toll: 78,000, 50,000, 1836

Notice something missing? LIKE A ZERO?
But where in the hell is our blood donations? Our Teddy Bears? Our we heart NO? Is there something wrong? Where are our celebrities demanding relief? Where are the rap stars saying we hate Asian people?

Come on all you social justice people. People wanting better rights for our un-represented, why don't I hear you beating your social-change drums and waving your protest posters? Is it something along the lines of 'we don't care about anything non-American?' is it too far across a big scary ocean? or do we have so many imports that we can't fathom giving some of those imports back to China?

It just angers me that we can't use our broadband connections for connecting with foreign country's news organizations. I was out with some friends and their parents, and the parents had more to say about China and Myanmar disasters. In fact, no one else my age even had anything to bring to the conversation. I felt like bringing out my slap-you-dumbass stick.

Now, some 'but Clark' arguements i feel might be brought up.

We don't have time. Utter bullshit. Who just saw the last Office episode? Want to talk about that? Or Lost?

What is talking going to do about it? Well, yes i understand that my rant does nothing tangeable right now. or does it? Do you now know the death tolls of these disasters? Do you understand a little bit more the magnitude of what happened. Do you understand a little bit more of why 'I'm American' is not always a great thing to say worldwide?

Well, haters, now you can hate all you need.

sitting in the studio, heaven

a review of one of my favorite artists.

Pigeon John


what does pigeon, pj, jiggy john bring to the table that makes you want to line up?

well, i enjoy the way he is off-the-cuff flippant about life. For example, in his song 'Emily', he talks about a situation that the dad left his woman because he didn't want to deal with the responsiblities of dealing with a family at the young age of 20. now, for the conservative crowd, i understand there are a lot to things that are not good examples to follow. However, i look at the way he addresses things like this. It is obviously a serious subject, and he isn't care-free about it, but he does it in such a way that there isn't this "you better live your life this way" type of feeling about the song.

i would have to say the i really grew into a big PJ fan when he released "sings the blues" This cd is a great cd about his struggles, and it shows you that it isn't all just fun and silly little beats whinning about money or whatever it is.

Upside down Rotten: This song breaks your face with some great introducing. It tells you why you want to meet him. and you DO! Now!

Nothing without you: This is a song that starts out as a love song to his wife, something that really is touching and demonstrates how much he loves her. The last verse is a song to his Savior. Think about it

Perfect Formality: This is his little hate song to the music industry. Very tongue in cheek. I enjoy this song a little too much sometimes.

She Cooks me Oatmeal!: Another song to his wife. He is a little over the top with this song, but I find it all fun and want more. Like you do to!

Sleeping Giants: Now the record industry responds. The way he looks at the way the industry is moving and how he feels like it isn't the way he is supposed to go.

Matter 101: This is my song.

You Can't Have It: This is a song to other rappers. He has some used insults, it is my least favorite off the cd.

The Grand Ol' Waltz: His society song. It has the waltz 3-beat to it, something I enjoy. It is sad, and happy. Like the last dance of a night, then you must say good-bye to your girlfriend for the night.

Life Goes On: A remix of a song from his "dating" cd. Another sad, dark song.

Emily: A remix

Identity Crises: A remix

Rainy Day: A fellow rapper, named RedCloud, dad dies of a drug overdose. It is a song about growing up in a family ripped apart by drugs, sex, and money. A rainy day.

Draw Me: Draw me closer to you. Lord. Draw me, make my heart anew. You seem so far away. Guide me along today.